A 'Trial' teacher #Part 1

Assalamualaikum...

It feels like decades since my very last update. Surely, this very short term memory of mine, I forgot my own password. It took me months to remember it back and now I'm here again. Bear with me~

A 'Trial' teacher instead of a trainee teacher as I just finished my first practicum almost the last 2 weeks ago. It feels like a 'trial' period to me. A 'trial' period of teaching as an English teacher. Yeah, believe me, it was the very first time.

What should I say?

I think it feels more like a dream.

I was teaching..

in a real classroom..

as an English teacher.

@____@ blur~

so, 

am I a teacher now??

not yet.

After 1 and a half year you will see..you have to wait.

I went to Convent Green Lane (CGL), a cluster school in an urban area in Penang for my first practicum. It was challenging teaching in an urban school, plus the school is well-known with their good academic achievements. What do you expect from an urban school like Convent? The pupils have a very good English language proficiency level, they speak English well! (Haihhh, kalut la 'cikgu baru' ni oii!! >.<  cakap London pun lintang pukang lagi T_T ).

I taught a year 2 class. Teaching by using a modular approach(KSSR) is a bit tough as I myself still not really clear with the new 'system'. Plus, it is never easy to teach a class with mixed abilities pupils. I had to cater with the pupils' differences in learning. They have different pace and ability in learning.

Am I a good teacher or bad teacher?

Surely, I'm not the good one neither the bad one.

I love them all. I remember their faces and feel like laughing every time I think about them. I remember them well especially the 'very good' one who did ballet when I was teaching, the one who was running and make me chased after her (yes 'her' as it was an all-girls school), the one who shouted a lot during my lesson, the one who peeking after my belonging (selongkar semua barang + guna macam harta sendiri T_T). Surely, I remember them well.

Some of them are really mischievous. They almost made me cry sometimes. They did give me bad times and bad days but they also made me laugh and love this line of profession, being a teacher. I love them a lot!

Sometimes, they make me thinking on how to be a better teacher. I want to better for them. To teach more, to give them more, to make them learn more. I want to do it. 

Sometimes, I was feeling sad as I couldn't do much for them. Some of them are extremely weak as they can't read or write. Some of them can't even copy the sentences correctly. Yes, I was sad, not because they are poor in studies but because I couldn't do much to help. It was just a one month period, it was too short. I really wish that I can spend more time with them and help the weak ones better. 

Sometimes, I was so touched when they were making progression by showing interest in learning. They did their homework, they participated in the lesson's activities! They were making progression. It may sound like "what's the matter with that?", "It just a trivial little things." They were not to me. Before this, I observed them, they were always playing in the class, sometimes, they looked not interested in learning, but I tried to figure out the reasons. When I pushed them to participate in the class activities and do their works, I realised that they are actually very weak in studies. It's not they didn't want to do it at first, but they just couldn't do it. They did not understand. I paid more attention to them, asking more questions and encourage them a lot during the lesson and they started to show interest. I was really glad.

They made me happy. They made me love the teaching profession more. They are the 'teacher' to this 'trial' teacher. They made me learn that it is a long journey for me to be a 'good' teacher. I'm too far from it and I have to do better to be better for future.

"Girls, thank you so much~ ) =')