can't sleep

i can't sleep!!

now it was late at night but i just can't sleep. i slept so many hours before, so now i have the difficulties to get back to sleep. hurmmm..thanks to my b for being so understanding. i love u b. hurmm. just like a little kid i still can't manage myself well. haha. sometimes i'm so messy.

today, i'm not really sleepy in class. i got it was really exciting learning my grammar subject. Mr Teoh said ' Lily is happy and smiling when she is learning LDS.' Then i suddenly heard my roomate, Farahida said, 'Tengok la roomate siapa?'. haha. it is not my first time, smiling or laughing in LDS class as Mr Teoh, my grammar lecturer is so funny. He likes to make jokes in class. But actually i try to pay more intention in class as my last exam result was bad or can i say it was worst! hurmm.. i'm not really good in English actually but my mom said i was. this is because i always get A's for my English subject since i was in primary school. i never know that i'm good in it but i just enjoy learning English rather than Bahasa. i felt so sorry for my lecturers as i'm not performing well. i'm not good n i know that i need to improve myself. i need to work harder. but sometimes i just lost. i'm so sorry. i try to remind myself to focus on my aim before i came here, i want to improve self, i want to be better, i know that i deserve it. i just need to change, i won't give up as need to do something for my future. i need to be someone..........

cyg comey

cyg, b tau cyg bnyk problm sume...b lau ley nak sgt2 tlng cyg b nie sttlekan sume mslah cyg...b xtau pe yg sbnr nye tgh brlaku kat chort korang...but b hrp sgt2 syg dpt kngsi ngan b...cyg slalu ckap yg cyg rse lost sume, but pe gne b kat cni...b sntsa brhrap cyg cter smthng lau cyg de pe2 prob...i know that some of ur members do not give full coopertion with each other but i really3 hope that u can manages urself very well so that u do not involvee or influenced by them k...i know that u are a strng woman, uhe a very3 good sprit n u never giveup easily rght...i know that...i'll alwys here 4 u cyg...so,dont make ur life become worst for all this problem...u must try hard to inprve urself everyday k...b akn sntasa spprt cyg b cwng nie wlau pe2 pon...so, b hrap cyg jgn cpat pts asa,jgn pkr bkan2...b ykin cyg sorng yg tabah n ley hdpi sume bnde k...

u know what...
i really5 luvvvvvvvvvvvvvv u so muchhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
chaiyok99999 cyg!!!!!!!!!11
mmmmmmmmmuahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tuk cyg....
(^_^)

S i c k . . .

i'm really sick today. really heart broken. just feel like want to give up life. staying far away from family really testing me. i feel worst just now as each time the 'teacher' pushing us to perform better, to be proactive. what kind of proactive that she really means?? some more, my 'dearest' course members really don't make any sign to improve self. still want to stay with their bolshiness. never think bout own mistakes. people like to criticize and gossip bout others, always talk bad bout others, just like they are perfect. i'm afraid as i will be influenced, i really don't want to be one of them. i just wanna be myself. now, i really miss my friends when i was in secondary school, miss my best friend, Ana n i really miss my family. it has been almost a month since last break i didn't back to my hometown, my home. i feel like crazy being here. honestly, i lost my spirit. i just feel that i'm not belong here. i have problem with myself, i just don't know why but i miss myself. it is really out of control n i almost did not know my own self. i'm really in sober right now. i start hating myself...because i'm too weak. i miss home. i'm really s i c k. s o s