Better

Assalamualaikum..

Feel so much better now.

I want to move on..even just a little steps ahead.

I need it.

Almost done packing my stuffs, of course there are a lot and I took more than just a day to finish packing. I really don't want to think about 'it' anymore. It's suffocating and gives me headache every time. Tired packing but it gives me a sense of release and I feel more at ease now.

No more cry baby for today. I guess I'm ok then ^_^ ~

Feel more conscious.

More awake.

I woke up at 3 a.m to figure out things and my eyes just couldn't sleep..I think..there are a lot of things that I've thought =____=' . Just let it be..one of them. Just let it comes or fades away, the other one..I don't want to feel burdened anyway, so I've made a decision to distant myself from feel bad or feel hurt.  

Maybe I should be a lone ranger (kihkihkih..) *sounds lame and lonely , but I need to be stronger and more independent. I had enough of tears running down my cheeks and I wish for no more.

I don't want to keep running and trying hard alone. I should stop myself, maybe.

It gives me deeper disappointment and frustration, so I let it loose..

* "Allah, please me give me strengths to face the difficulties and I wish to cry no more. This tears should be just to worship my Mighty Lord, Allah and to the Prophet Muhammad, and if these tears still flow, I wish they are for my mother, father and my siblings, the one that loves me and really cares for me.. "

It hurts!

Assalamualaikum...

It has been an outrage.

I lost control of myself, it turned out that tears overflowing the pain!!

I couldn't resist myself from crying, couldn't stop crying..

It overflowed and my heart felt so burdened.

It is hard for me!

Hard to act like I don't notice, act like it is ok, act like I' always a happy flower in front of your, with your gloomy expression, it always like i-don't-like-you expression with no a bit sign of smile on your face each time you see me or face me.

Seriously, it hurts me deep down here.

Hey! Do I really deserve that kind of treatment?

What have I done wrong to you?

Tell me?

If you can't continue all these..just tell me!

Don't torture me.

I have had it enough, for long enough..

It tires me up each time, make me feel like screaming and jumping off the building..

Hey there,

It doesn't matter if you've already changed as people do change..

But,

to treat a person that you once really care with such cold way is so uncool and unacceptable.

I can step away if you want me to..

I'll reminisce what we had between us for all these time as I move on..

I don't like hanging here like this with my efforts seem to waste up..

It signifies nothing but 'nothingness'.

and

thanks to you.

Counting hours to way back home..

Assalamualaikum...

It has been a very long time since my last update..

Now,

I'm struggling memorizing and stuff all the facts to be encoded into my brain. Take a break, it's been too stuffy now.(really??). hahaha! maybe. =P It is the last fight, the last war for this struggling and rough semester. Can finally have a deep breath I think (eyeee!!don't dream! not yet!) *Jangan nak senang hati sangat ye.. ;(

I'm longing for home, the smell, the warmth, the fun, the love and all the other stuffs. Really miss home~ I guess I may start listing things and 'excitements' for this semester break. I really want to make use of my time in Johor. Penang always seems less-homey than Johor. Maybe because I was not born here =___='

Ok..there are a lot more that I want to spill here but maybe I can continue after this very 'last war'. SO, please wish me luck and pray for me! ^___^