Thursday, January 19, 2012

Sleepy post -_____- zZZ

Assalamualaikum....

seriously,
memang tengah mengantuk yang amat sangat sekarang ni,

tp....
nk jugak post something kt blog ni.

Mintak maaf la ye, entry sebelum ni sangat mengarut dan cencarut segala bagai sebab x dapat mengawal perasaan (marah sangat masa tu).

Hari ni aku x dapat nak describe apa perasaan aku sekarang (apa aku nak cakap ni sebenarnya??)--confuse--

Sebenarnya hari ni aku rasa x bersemangat yang teramat sangat, terasa hilang separuh nyawa bila tau result final exam sem lepas. "Teruk siotttt!!!" Biasa dialog ni yang akan keluar dari mult aku tapi hari ni, "..." *xde dialog. Aku seriously SPEECHLESS. x tau la nak explain macam mana. Teruk sangat ke result aku?? To be honest, it was not the worst as ever but it made me seriously speechless as it was way out off my expectation. So, how do you expect me to feel??

To be honest, aku agak frustrated sekarang ni...tapi............aku x tau nak pikir apa, xtau nak kata apa. "Tak pe, mungkin esok mana tau SUP ubah result ke........." (bukan SUP yang buat minum tu tau. SUP= Setiausaha Unit Peperiksaan). Malas la nak pikir. Sakit kepala.

Gila x kalau pointer aku boleh drop sampai 0.67???!! x logik langsung.

" X tau nk jawab apa kat ibu nanti.."
* You are a dead meat Lily!

T____T

Tiba-tiba terasa seram, sedih, geram, marah dan bercampur-baur je perasaan ni. *emo. Macam-macam ada dalam kepala ni sekarang.

"Course TESL je ke yg result mcm ni??"

"Apa aku nak jawab kalau orang lain tanya?"

"Macam mana boleh jadi macam ni?"

"Aku ke sebenarnya yang bodoh?"

Seperti apa yang korang nampak, semuanya memang negatif dan kusut belaka. Mana tak nya, dapat tau result just 2.84 je untuk sem ni, n kumulatif bagi 2 sem 3.14 SAHAJA! Buka nak kata apa la kan.. tapi kalau dah result macam ni memang akan effect sampai the last semester for degree. Dah macam tu nanti memang la effect bila nak further study untuk master & pHD.

Memang la serabut. Muka ni pun x tau nak bubuh kat mana. Macam langsung xpernah belajar tau x. Kalau bahasa kasarnya, "Hang ni tak pi sekolah ka??!!"

Sekarang ni aku just nak mentally prepare je la bila dah dapat result macam ni. Apa nak buat kan? X kan nak teriak pi terjun bangunan 20 TINGKAT kotttttt~ Apa-apa pun aku memang doa jela result ni xfinal lagi & memang akan berubah. AMINNNN...


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

It's BULLSHIT!!!

You know what????



You shouldn't give shits to people who trying to help you. Seriously, you shouldn't bullshit for your own mistakes!!

I've got nothing to lose if I don't even help or open my mouth. You give others hell, HELL you!!!

My life is miserable enough to take care yours!! So, you better watch your language!!

#1



Courage does not always roar,
sometimes courage is the quiet voice,
at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow"


- Mary Anne Radmacher -






Sunday, January 15, 2012

Today just another day.

Assalamualaikum..

It has been a very long since my last update.

Missing old times.

People do say,
"Looking back to past will do nothing to future, it changes nothing."

but,
I do believe by looking back to the past make you learn to be better in future..


Today is just another day, just like the other day of yesterday and the days before. Nothing much different. Just today, having such a great friend to talk to remind me of the past. I do miss the past. The old times. For every single moment. Being able to tell about the past, to talk about it gave me pleasant feelings. I really love the moments in the past. Staying in a hostel with so many different-kinds-of-friends with so many things we had been through together, with all those tears and laughter that made you learn and value life more. Being apart from family made you realize that life wasn't always like cotton candy, to be so sweet, so soft and smooth. Life can be like a very bitter-taste-coffee, so bitter that u couldn't even swallow it.

Now,

in the middle of the night, my head are full with the thoughts of dearie friends. Miss you peeps so much~

Sunday, January 1, 2012

The Other Side Of You....

Assalamualaikum....

I just couldn't sleep and feel like I should write something here..

I just realised the other side of you.........


Dad,

Just a few minutes ago it was his birthday. He always looks like a very cold person with least words to talk (sometimes almost none), but today behind his gloomy-serious-looking and tired-looking face i saw him smiling, so bright, bright enough to make my heart pounds and wonder. He was smiling while looking to a little girl. His smile was so warm that made me wonder if he is a real and a very 'fatherly' father of mine. It reminds me of a very warmth father when i was your young little girl and it makes me grateful for being you daughter. I really love you so much. Happy birthday to you...