Assalamualaikum....
It is raining now.
Feel calmer..
Being a someone's not making you feel less alone, but more alone. I don't know since when I keep getting this feeling. Feeling alone. Feel distant from others, from family and the most important, my creator. Being someone's is not something that make me proud of myself. It makes me feel...feeling-less, restless..and now lonely.
How should I describe this feeling?
It tires me up.
"Love is not enough..."
It was the last word that really keeps me hanging until now..I kept thinking and now I do believe, YES, it is not enough and that is the feeling that 'that someone' give to me even until now.
I don't know why, it is like love is burdensome to you and tires you up so much. It is like, you are getting bored of all these, getting bored with me.
I'm not asking you to be my Mr. BF forever, I really don't have that intention. But..'Mr. Someone', can't you at least show some efforts after you're telling me that you are 'serious' with me? I'm not asking you to call me or message me to ask how's my day or what ever everyday. I don't know why but seriously, you don't seem like the kind of person that really 'serious' and care. Sorry to say. I'm not regret or sad but more to feel frustrated. Yes, you make me feel frustrated. Even until now.
It is about heart. You know what had happened? Can someone's heart easily cure after being hurt? I can't just say everything is okay when it is not. I can't lie myself.
Heart...please calm down and be patient~
I really don't know what to do. Things done can never be undone. I know I have to move on but I need strengths. Strengths to face all these.
Heart..you have to stop, stop playing with your own feelings..
"Ya Allah, sesungguhnya aku ingin berhenti. Aku ingin sandarkan segalanya padaMu. Sesungguhnya kehidupanku adalah aturanMu. Bantulah aku untuk menjadi insan yang redha dan bukanlah insan yang lalai........"
"Wahai hati..berhentilah~"
