Don't stop! Please move faster...

Assalamualaikum..

I'm typing this entry with such mood sway and teary eyes.

Time,

Please move faster..

I beg you.

Feel lost. Try mencari jawapannya kenapa. Kenapa? Silent. Do I really don't have the answer? Silent. Terasa berat nak bercakap, terasa berat nak bercerita. This is the only place I can vomit all of it.

I don't fit in here.

Seriously, I don't.

I tried.

But still..I don't fit here.

Ayah Ibu..it would be very helpful if I can share this misery with both of you.

Unfortunately, I couldn't. and it always be that way. I just couldn't spill it. Never. Why? I just don't have the answer.

I'm miserable here. Hurt. Tears overflowing but still couldn't speak.

Friends, I would be very grateful if you could show a bit of understanding and giving me some space to breathe.

You hurt me too much. Selfishness. Competitiveness. I know that I can make myself understand. Egocentrism. Ignorance. I can still tolerate. But, still....please grow up.

You can never stay being a child.

I don't know why, it tires me so much. Drains my spirit. Feel so breathless, suffocating. Please stop. Time, please move faster.

I wish I'm not here, now.

"O' Allah, please give me strength to face this 'misery', please make me stronger.."